Category: Uncategorized
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A meditation on my self-awareness
Note: This may get a bit personal. I really didn’t write it thinking that it might help you in any way. It’s one of those selfish blog posts that the authors dedicate to no one but themselves. But I welcome all readership. Would you enjoy looking at an intrusion of cockroaches? No, you wouldn’t. It…
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2021 Reflection – I lived
This is a long due reflection blog post. It’s already March, and so you can even say that it’s long overdue. I wrote the first draft during the last days of 2021, but life get in the way and I haven’t got a chance to review and edit since then. But it will surely bug…
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Quarantine Diary, August, 2021
Introduction In the late morning of July 30th, 2021, I received news from the local authority that me and my father tested positive for Covid. On the same evening, I checked into a facility somewhere near Thu Thiem tunnel (in Ho Chi Minh city, Vietnam) to start the quarantine process, while my father checked into…
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Quarantine Diary – Eleventh day, August 10th, 2021: My subconscious is telling me something, finally going home, anticipations vs plans
Today is the 11th day I spend in this quarantine facility. I couldn’t sleep properly last night because I keep having this weird, singular thought, which is not exactly hope, that tomorrow may really be the day. It is not hope because it doesn’t capture and direct my mind towards these images of what I…
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Quarantine Diary – Tenth day, August 9th, 2021: Free from anticipations, the absence of hope is not despair, we need to control any situation to a certain extent, getting retested unexpectedly, despair is when hope is forcefully taken away in a manner that induces despair, today is not the day
Free from anticipations Today is my 10th day at this quarantine facility. Unlike yesterday, I am not plagued by the feeling of anticipation anymore. Because I was hoping for a happy ending, which would be me leaving here yesterday, marking the end of an otherwise distasteful week, now that that hope is gone, I feel…
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Quarantine Diary – Ninth day, August 8th, 2021: A sexual fantasy, unhelpful people, the cost of visualizing happy endings, a strangling dangling hope
Today is my 9th day in quarantine. I can’t help but look forward to leaving here. If everything goes right, I can leave here today. After all, I was retested 2 days ago, so the results should be back by now, ideally. Today is Sunday, so leaving here today would allow me to start the…
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Quarantine Diary – Eight day, August 7th, 2021: Being drawn to the darker aspects of life, despair happens once or twice, the immortal Pheonix
Today is my 8th day in this quarantine facility. I woke up to the sound of someone knocking on my door. I’ve been living in a small room, separated from the common area of the apartment that I share with 6 other people. The apartment has 3 rooms, one is the living room or the…
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Quarantine Diary – Seventh day, August 6th, 2021: Getting retested, thinking about risks, a crisis at work contained, a nice doctor, a good friend, rightfully hopeful
This is the 7th day I spend at the quarantine facility. I asked the medical staff who came to visit the room and measured the oxygen saturation level and it seems that people usually get tested in the morning. The first step to going home is getting retested, so I was looking forward to that…
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Quarantine Diary – Sixth Day, August 5th, 2021: A meaningless thought, A well-intended action that is not helpful, the allure of visualizing happy endings, the annoying piece of audio, crises at work
Today is my sixth day in this quarantine facility. I start to settle on a routine, which I hope will be ephemeral. I wake up at 6:30 AM, which is way earlier than I would have at home. Breakfast comes at 7:30 AM. I’d take a shower at 9:00 AM, and then open my laptop…
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Quarantine Diary – Fifth Day, August 4th, 2021: Trying to work and fail yesterday, People at work seem to think I’ll be out of contact for a while
This is the fifth day of my quarantine. I should have started journaling sooner. But for the past few days, I was still in the mindset of wishing some miracles do happen, that I’ll go home today. Today is the day. This is it. Naturally, I thought that I’d better not start any routine that…
Dafuq is that 